It was day 8 post-tonsillectomy and I was frustrated. For a few nights now, I had been unable to sleep at night. I would be utterly exhausted and struggling to stay awake but the moment I turned off the light and lay my head on my pillow, I would be wide awake. I had been taking melatonin to help me sleep, with limited success. That night, I was fed up and didn’t want to take it.
那天正是我动手术切除喉咙部扁桃腺后的第8日。我很烦躁，因为前几天，我都睡不着。不管白天里有多疲累，或是有没有吃安眠药，我一想睡，就完全清醒，睡不着。那晚，我受够了，不想再吃安眠药。
After tossing in bed for almost 2 hours, I decided to sit up and scroll through Facebook. About 20 minutes later, I felt a lot of thick saliva in my throat. I thought I had better check as I had suffered a small bleed earlier in the morning. True enough, my throat had started bleeding again. I quickly sucked on some ice and the bleeding stopped. Less than 15 minutes later, the bleeding restarted. I didn’t want to go to A&E because I figured it would stop again soon, but I felt a sudden sense of urgency to get to A&E. As I prepped my bag, I realised that the blood wasn’t stopping and I just kept spitting blood whenever there wasn’t any ice in my mouth.
睡不着，在床上翻来覆去了2小时后，我决定坐立起来，刷一刷手机里的脸书。约20分钟后，我感觉到喉咙中出现了浓浓的口水。因为当天早上喉咙出了小量的血，我怀疑这回事又发生了。我检查后发现，果然，喉咙出血了。我嘴里含冰块，血就止住了。可是，不到15分钟，血又开始流了。我本以为血流不久后会停止，就不想去急诊室。可是，我突然感受到一股莫名的急迫感，要我快去急诊室。我收拾包包时才发现，血不停地流。嘴里一没有冰块，我就一直吐血。
I rushed to A&E, where the doctors tried to cauterise the bleed to avert the need for an operation. However, the ENT doctor could not stem the flow of blood. Whenever she cauterised one area, another would open up and bleed again. The specialist surgeon was called and I was prepped for emergency surgery.
我赶去医院急诊部。医生们尝试止住血流，以避免动手术的需要。但是，眼鼻喉专科医生无法止血。她每止住一处血流，另一处就开始流血。最后，我必须准备动紧急手术，专科医生也被请到现场。
Other than constantly spitting out a lot of blood, I was generally feeling ok. But just as I was about to be wheeled in to surgery, I suddenly felt woozy. Everything looked a bit grey and grainy and I didn’t feel good.
即便我一直在吐血，我整体上还是感觉正常。但是，快要动手术时，我突然头晕，周围看起来是一片灰色。我开始不舒服。
As I lay down on the operating table with the oxygen mask, I could feel the blood pooling in my throat and prayed for God’s protection because I didn’t want to leave my children (Isaac and Iva) without a mother.
躺在手术台上，戴着氧气口罩时，我感觉到喉咙里的血越来越多。我祷告神保护我，因为我不想让我的两个孩子失去妈妈。
When I awoke after the surgery, I was told that just before I went under general anaesthesia, the bleeding suddenly became severe. Within the short time between intubation and finally cauterising that troublemaker of a blood vessel, I had lost 500ml of blood from a tiny hole.
手术完毕，清醒后，我得知，刚才打麻醉药之前，喉咙里的血流突然变得很严重。从一开始插管到最后成功止血的那短短时间内，我已经从那小小的伤口流失了整整500公升的血液。
It was only when I was discharged that the gravity of the situation hit me.
我只有在出院后才感悟到我当时的病情有多么严重。
It had taken 30 minutes for the specialist surgeon to get to the hospital and for the doctors to prep for my surgery. Had I gone to the A&E a little bit later than I did, I wouldn’t have been in surgery to stop the bleeding in time and would have lost even more blood.
手术专科医生来到医院，准备动手术，已经花费30分钟了。要是我迟了一点来到急诊室，恐怕就无法及时动手术止血，并将损失更多血液。
I had been so frustrated with God for not giving me sleep the previous few nights. Yet if I had taken melatonin and it was effective, I might not have woken up in time.
神前几晚让我睡不着，我很烦躁。但是，如果我那一晚吃了安眠药而好好地睡着了，也许等我醒来就已经太迟了。
I felt the weight of God’s protection, grace and mercy over me. In protecting me, He showed me His immense love for my children too, whom I value very much. This incident was also a reminder to me that God is always good. Even when He does not answer my prayers for simple things, He has a good reason for it.
我强烈地感受到神对我的保护、恩典和怜悯。我的孩子对我非常宝贵。其实，神保护了我，展现出祂对我孩子们的大爱。这件事提醒了我，神永远是美好的。就算神没有回应我祷告里简单的请求，祂也一定有好原因。
The original date of my tonsillectomy had been postponed from August due to a bout of tonsilitis. This was also His mercy because if I had done the procedure as planned, this post-op bleeding would have required me to take no pay leave from the school where I teach, as it was not yet the school holidays. All these things I could not see except in retrospect.
我的喉咙部扁桃腺切除手术原本应该于八月进行，却因为扁桃腺发炎而延后。这也是上帝的怜悯。这次喉咙出血是那个手术所造成的。我是一名老师。如果手术照计划进行，并造成喉咙出血，我就必须跟学校请无薪假。这些问题都是我自己无法事先知道的。
This incident drove home the message of His grace, sovereignty and goodness over my life. Indeed His goodness, mercies and grace abound. All praise and thanksgiving to Him who is most High.
这件病情让我体会到神在我生命中的恩典、主权和良善。神的美好、怜悯与恩典的确是丰足的。一切赞美和荣耀归于至高至上的主耶稣！
