Three participants share how they sought and met with God at the recent Tending the Soul silent retreat (29 May – 1 June).
Chua Chor Ling
The retreat was a much-needed respite and the first time in many years that I was able to have time alone for days at a stretch with the Lord. Before the retreat, my mind was constantly preoccupied with the endless lists of things to do both at home and at work leaving me fatigued, both physically and spiritually. I was looking forward to a much-needed rest, spending time alone with the Lord and seeking His direction for whatever is ahead.
My first night was far from restful. The Lord brought to mind burdens I had been carrying, including things that I had put aside and tried to forget. I spent the night sobbing as tears flowed uncontrollably. It was a very difficult night and totally unexpected. I was looking for rest but ended up feeling even more tired!
The next day, during the one-to-one session with the facilitator, I realised I needed to release my burdens before I could receive from God. As I read 1 Kings 19 later, I was reminded of how when I was seeking God’s voice in my busy days, I felt distant and could not find Him. Just like how God’s voice was not in the great and powerful winds, earthquakes and fires in my busy life, I needed to find a quiet place and be still to hear God’s “gentle whisper”.
I enjoyed walking the meditation labyrinth at the retreat center, where God told me many times to trust in Him even when my path seemed to lead me away from my goal. All I needed to do was to take one step at a time, stay focused on the path He has for me and surely, He will lead me to my destination.
He also showed me a cracked section in the path, where a tiny plant was growing out. “You only see the cracks, but I see opportunity for new life,” the Lord said to me. I was taken aback by how true it was! I had been so preoccupied with doing things right and often beating myself up over my inadequacies. Yet God showed me how the “cracks” in me actually allowed opportunities for me to grow and bear fruit. God is so good indeed in His unfathomable ways!
God continued to speak to me through many wondrous and amazing moments during the retreat—that I could always depend on Him, to remember to slow down in my daily life, and to just praise Him whenever I get impatient.
By the end of the retreat, I felt very well rested spiritually and mentally. God led me to mold a little camera as a reminder of my retreat experience. Just like a camera taking photos, each moment captured is unique and will never be exactly the same again when the moment has passed. In order to capture the God-moments , I need to have my lens focused on Him, to be receptive and ready with my finger on the shutter for the moments that God wants to show me, to be well rested and recharged like the camera battery, and to have my memory card emptied just as He lifted and emptied my burdens, so that I can fill it (myself) up with all the wonderful new moments that He is going to show me.
Thank you, God, for a most wonderful experience. You have showed me so much love and taught me even more! This retreat far surpassed my expectations. God really knew what I wanted and needed even without my asking. I am also thankful to my cluster, cell and workplace fellowship for keeping me in prayers. I look forward to the many more moments that God will continue to show me in the future!
Samuel Lim
I was in a period of transition between jobs, and came with the intention to hear and seek God’s direction with regard to my career and a particular request in my personal life.
The time of silence was unfamiliar and uncomfortable at the start. All I could hear were my own thoughts playing inside my head. However, this made me more conscious that I had come to the retreat with much restlessness and anxiety on the inside, even though I was physically rested. That evening, while walking the grounds of the retreat centre, I conversed with God and could not help but lay down these areas causing anxiety before God in prayer. As i was gazing into the night sky after praying, i felt an inner impression : “Have faith and trust God”. I instantly knew that this was God’s voice speaking to me for my situation.
I felt more “settled” into the time of silence the next day and there was a certain clarity in my mind, as the thoughts from the night before were no longer re-playing in my head. I learnt that we often need to go through a process of “de-cluttering” or “emptying” before we can fully receive God’s love and what He has for us. While taking a walk in the garden that morning, an impression came into my mind that my restlessness was caused by worry about certain events in the future that were outside my control. This must have been the Holy Spirit revealing this to me, and I immediately surrendered these events to God in prayer and felt a sense of relief.
As the retreat drew to a close, I realised that I had learnt to hear and recognise God’s voice speaking to me, which I could have overlooked in the busyness of life. I also cultivated a posture of prayer by learning to bring my requests before God regularly. I came back from the retreat comforted and my relationship with God strengthened during these four days.
ZH Cai
This retreat experience was the second time that I had attended a 4D3N silent retreat. I was very much looking forward to this time away from the busyness of life, into the quiet and tranquility that I have not been able to experience elsewhere.
Coming to this retreat, I had some concerns that I had wanted to bring before the Lord and wanted to seek Him for a sense of direction and clarity. This was particularly in the area of my career trajectory and whether I should pivot out into something quite different altogether. Having had an experience during last year’s retreat, where I had sought the Lord for similar things and received a word to simply trust Him, I had a sense that God would give me a similar response.
Yet, God in his sovereign wisdom chose to respond quite differently and far more explicitly this time. Through the time of meditation and reflection upon both His Word and the book, Every Good Endeavour by Timothy Keller, I ended up leaving the retreat with a far clearer and sharper sense of what God had purposed for the next season of my life. I also left feeling a deeper sense of peace and with a renewed perspective of the meaning of work.
All this was only possible because of the calming and quiet environment that was offered at the retreat centre. It truly is a place that offers a very unique opportunity for us to be still and quiet before the Lord – for our souls to more easily find the rest it so desperately craves in the midst of a constantly noisy and overstimulated world. I was certainly thankful for this opportunity and have every intention to retreat annually and intentionally care for my soul and spirit man.