Initially, I was hesitant about signing up for the mission trip. I had not gone for any major church events before, like church camp or retreat, so this was a huge step-up for me. I also wasn’t sure how I could contribute to the team, as I didn’t know what gifts I possessed, nor did I have any prior experience in missions. There are many stories in the Bible about God using ordinary people, with no special gifts or abilities, for His ministry. If I truly believed that God could use anyone, this was the time to exercise my faith. So, I decided to trust God and obey.

During the first few days of ministry, I struggled greatly with fear and pride. I was not brave enough to approach strangers and strike up conversations with them, and when I did, I could not find the words to say. I began comparing myself with the other trippers, who could engage in meaningful conversations and intercession with ease. During debrief every night, everyone would share their testimonies from the day, which were so powerful and filled with emotion, whereas I had nothing much to say. I also began to envy the gifts that the other trippers had – those who could lead worship, dance well, do prophetic art, and design the skit and crafts which were so impactful. I was angry and disappointed in myself for not having the same emotional experiences as everyone else, and for not having the courage to fully engage with the people we were ministering to. On the ride back from the tribe visit, I shared with a friend Tim about how useless I felt. He proceeded to pray for me, and volunteered to accompany me to talk to people in the subsequent days.

As the days went by, things began to improve. One morning, as we were headed to the mall for a grocery run, the Lord prompted me to bring the prophetic cards although there was no dedicated ministry time. Why not? So I brought the cards with me, as instructed. At the mall, we came across a drinks stall called ‘Hebrews Shebrews’ – an interesting name – and together with Tim, we approached the stall owner, asking how he was, and offered to pray for him. We blessed him with a card with 1 Peter 2:9 written on it, which I thought was very fitting given the name of the store. Later that evening, the team headed out to the market for a chill night out. Once again, there was no dedicated ministry time, but I brought the cards with me. At the beach, we came across two boys who were there smoking. Together with two other teammates, we started a conversation with them which ultimately led to one of the boys sharing the struggles he was going through; he was carrying a heavy burden and guilt with him for many months since his grandma passed away last year. He poured out his heart to us and began to cry, and we prayed for him, and gave him and his friends a card each. I was amazed by what God did that day. All I did was bring the cards, and the Lord did the rest of the work.

These encounters left me in awe of what God could do, even with someone as inexperienced and lacking as me. In the subsequent days, the Lord increased my courage and boldness. With His help, and the encouragement of the team, I was able to overcome my fears, like talking to strangers and praying for them, as well as leading one of the prayer segments during the overnight worship.

One of the trip devotions was based on 1 Corinthians 12, about spiritual gifts and unity in the body of Christ. I found myself to be exactly as Paul described in verses 15 to 18:

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.

I believe that through this trip, God was correcting my misconceptions about spiritual gifts, and has revealed to me the value of the gifts He has given me. He has taught me not to covet the gifts that others have, and that no gift is any less than the other.

Coming back from this trip, I am confident that despite my weaknesses and shortcomings, God can still use me for His ministry work. At the end of the day, it is not my own wisdom, experience or skill, but His Spirit that works within me and enables me to be fruitful. I want to continue serving the Lord using the gifts He has given me, wherever He leads me next. I hope that my testimony will encourage others who aren’t sure if they are ‘good enough’ to serve the Lord. God can use anyone. He can use all of our gifts for His ministry, and is well pleased when we do it.